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The Heel Realization trope as used in popular culture. Few things are more crushing than realizing that you're one of the bad guys. You might exclaim My God. Turn Her On Through Text - Make Her Crave You With Every Text
Check it out and let me know what you think. Ideally what you say is true. The reality is that many families today are blended. I worded it intentionally to cover a variety of situations and because step-relationships can be a source of great strife in many modern marriages. Please send me anything you think that would help me in being a more honorable, loving man to my wife.
It was great and explained how most women feel about this. You made me and others laugh. I enjoy spending time with my husband when we are out with others. It is then, that I am reminded of why I enjoyed him in the beginning of our relationship. At home he moans, groans, and mopes around. When we go out to eat alone, we sit in silence. It is sad that I do not get the happy go lucky, fun loving attitude that is shared with others. I have said, you give your best to others. Those people will not be there to clean you up when you are sick, hurt, or old.
It could almost be FIRST on the list. It is first on my list. A man who plays with, loves on, encourages, teaches, and protects. The others are important but this one is huge. I think women must also be careful with male friendship.
After reading hers, I figured yours would be even more offensive, archaic and infuriating. Surprisingly, it is not, ways to turn her on. Putting the seat down and picking up your clothes is just common courtesy and should go without saying.
Number ten is completely offensive and ridiculous. Do you actually look at yourself as a leader and your wife the follower?
If so, how can you possibly respect her? Number twenty two is condescending in its very nature by implying that you are in a position to be condescending in the find a woman tonight place.
Number twenty three makes the assumption that the decision making process is all yours and the little wifeypoo is just lucky that you are willing to consider her input again, I am reminded of a dog and a bone. The rest of this post, however, is not bad…listening, encouraging, having patience, praying together, finding forgiveness in your heart and expressing love are all good things that I believe both a husband and a wife should be willing to freely give to one another to make their relationship great.
Depending upon my role, I am sometimes the leader and sometimes the follower. When I lead, I have tremendous respect for those I lead, and I serve them as a leader.
When I follow, I feel my leaders certainly have respect for me, or I would not follow. When I lead, I take into account ways to turn her on mission where applicablethe team, and the long-term big picture. I take input from those I lead, often deferring to greater insight and expertise where I know my own direct knowledge is limited.
When I follow, I expect my leaders to be doing the same. When I train leaders, I teach them to do the same. I wonder and am saddened at how so many people seem to see the issue — since none of us is the ultimate leader in anything, and all of us must lead somewhere and follow other-wheres.
To imply that there is some sort of mandatory disrespect of those who follow certainly makes me want to make certain such a person never, ever has a leadership position in any way, shape or form where I have a say. Thanks for both you and your wife for compiling these lists. Lots of good thoughts. I did not have time to read all the comments previous- so this is not a response to comments but to the original posts. The reason I mention it is that many women do not have husbands that respect them, and it is difficult to respect and admire someone like that.
It is easier to make an effort, when you know it is the thing that person is exhorted to do, even if they are not following through. Does that make sense? He is a part of keeping the household running.
Not just the monetary funding of it. Yes, her attitude is important, but how would you like to be treated that way? My husband is awesome- we share responsibilities yes, i do the majority of some things and most of the childcare but this sharing gives me more time and energy for other things like ministering to those around me, and investing in my relationship with my husband and kids. Neither of these points are criticisms of your posts, just my added thoughts which I know you mentioned making our own lists….
I agree completely with your number two Young girl in bed L. I have also seen that a man can think all a woman appreciates is his money. Well… It is sad that he has devalued himself to that position due to his lack of involvement in the home. If a woman tries to request more involvement then she is considered as a nag. It is a disservice for a man to think his only contribution to the family is going to work and earning a paycheck.
You lost me at the very first statement. Putting the needs of anyone else before your own is a recipe for resentment, if not outright disaster. The key to a successful relationship is to prioritize the needs of others after ensuring that your own are met. Thank you for your insight and your honesty! The first statement is the cornerstone of the whole blog. Likewise, if you agree with the ways to turn her on, then the details can be tailored to your own situation.
The real question is whether or not putting others ahead of yourself is a valid approach to life in general or marriage in particular. If you always take, people begrudge you. Find a happy balance! Christianity says forget about balance. Always give, and just allow people to take advantage of you. If he strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other also. So did early Christians killed in the arenas of Rome.
So have countless martyrs down through the ages, even to this very day in Sudan. Not protective of the Self and its best interests. So unusual and contrary to our instincts that I will go on record as calling it supernatural. To have that level of love for your fellow man, to be concerned for the welfare of your enemies even as they slay you, requires a strength that none of us possesses on our own.
God alone can give us that kind of power. Now take that supernatural power, strength, and love and channel it towards your spouse. I give to her. She gives to me. She graciously accepts what I give to her. I graciously accept what she gives to me.
Of course there are many permutations and potential pitfalls if one gives and the other takes. If you keep giving to a taker you might have fallen into a co-dependency trap and you are actually rewarding and thus encouraging bad behavior. I agree with the Pastor Scot. We are equals and any woman or man who does not recognize that is allowing ancient patriarchal stereotypes and practices rule.
It is at the dark and dirty base of these teachings and practices that allow for cultures to treat women with disrespect, ways to turn her on, negligence and violence. My husband and I are equals in our very happy marriage. We earn equal pay rare in this society and business practiceswe share responsibilities around the house and yard, we cook together, we do things together and allow time apart, we are family planning and share our ways to turn her on and disappointments.
I realize every relationship has its own parameters and dynamics, but to suggest,let alone blatantly state, that the basic rights and roles of two individuals are not equal is hurtful to me, my someday children, our society and the world at large. Bethany, I agree with your comment. Hobbies and friends are important to ones individuality! I agree that friends and hobbies are important. I am NOT saying ways to turn her on eliminate them.
If your goal is to keep her guessing about your loyalty, then you should mix it up a little. Let me give an example. You have made it five years and your anniversary falls on a Wednesday.
Unbeknownst to you, your wife has arranged a surprise romantic dinner at her ways to turn her on restaurant and is hoping to discuss the possibility of starting a family in the near future. Guy thinking says to push the anniversary celebration to Friday and enjoy the best of both worlds. Give your draft picks to your buddy, hope for the best, and celebrate your anniversary. Then for bonus points, have your friend leave a message on your answering machine about missing you at the draft, but he respects the fact that your wife is way more important to you than football.
Which, hopefully, is true! Every man must understand different women have different wants thus the way you express your love should go handy with how she wants to be loved and her needs! For many women, the idea of having twelve kids would be a nightmare, but for my wife they are a dream come true.
I will tell you — boy, is it motivating! However, his love and kindness toward me has definitely softened my heart over time and I am a much more respectful wife than I used to be. All that to say — this works! It really does work regardless of which spouse is the initiator. I like to think of it as the peaceful non-violence of Ghandi or Martin Luther King, Jr. This actually made me appreciate my husband even more.
He does all of these things and has since the day I married him. You have a good man! I was looking over the list this weekend and realized I was struggling with a few of the items on the list despite the fact that I wrote the list!! Thankfully, I have a gracious wife and it sounds like your husband does too. Further, only having eyes for your wife will definitely encourage women what the fuck girl engage in more intimacy.
She is encouraged to wear her hair a certain way, ways to turn her on. And her heart skips a beat—and that heartbeat can end up in the bedroom. After all, she puts you ahead of all the others in every way, whether in the little things or the big things of life…. Stop looking to someone else to define you!!! How to earn and show respect…………. I may need to do a younger kids version and a teenage version, since the maturity gap would change some of the suggestions.
If you think that a healthy relationship has a hierarchy, you must be thinking of your dog. Or a piece of garbage.
Seriously, work on respecting your wife. Good try at a cute response. Have a good time with that, and have fun when your children have to go to therapy to deal with your example of a healthy marriage. Not only that, also the most rude. Women crave love and men crave respect. If those needs are met, the others follow suit. Usually, ways to turn her on, they are awash in respect. Their talent, intelligence, and wisdom command it.
They find respect wherever they go. Respect is all around them; but love, that is something else entirely. It is not so easy to find and often even harder to keep. For a woman to be loved by a man — passionately, deeply, with all that he is towards all that she is — is a rare thing indeed. We women are almost always insecure about our looks and our bodies, but a few words from my hubs about how beautiful or dare I say it?
Renee, I actually had a powerful illustration of this over the weekend. Since it was my birthday, my wife agreed to my crazy request to do a photo shoot. Thanks to this digital age, we got to look at the photos right away. Then take another from waist level or even thigh level. The same person, the same pose, the same everything — but changing camera angles, makes them look taller, stately, lengthens the legs, lifts the chest, and more.
When my wife looks at herself in the mirror, she always sees herself from eye level. I know of that of which I speak! I got a lot of great shots of her sitting casually at a table at the mall, enjoying some shopping and some ways to turn her on amazing shoes she foundlounging around the condo, working out.
We tried some shots with her sunglasses off, but it was SO bright that she could not help but squint…. It would also be interesting to see how the lists might vary by marital status and relationship status. It reminds me of an exercise I do with my older kids.
I tell them to make a list of all the things they desire in a spouse — hard working, compassionate, loves kids, etc… Then I tell them to develop those same qualities within themselves, ways to turn her on, because that is what they truly value and also the kind of people they will ultimately attract.
No, you go do a triathlon or join the bike club! I do a similar exercise myself regarding life goals. If I say that I would spend more time with the kids and give money to help the homeless, then why not volunteer to work WITH the kids at Habitat for Humanity one Saturday a quarter?
This list is nice, and my husband actually does most of it. The other felt like I was supposed to lie back and think of England. My wife likes classical music and I like classic rock. A koan is a buddhist term for a seemingly contradictory statement that forces one to stop and think more deeply about a subject so as to bring about an even greater enlightenment. Servant-Leadership should not be a koan or an oxymoron.
Leaders SHOULD serve those they lead. Servant-Leadership only appears contradictory because we have grown accustomed to those in power using that power to benefit themselves, often to the detriment of their followers. Plato felt that those who most desired to rule were least suited to do so because they invariably had ulterior motives.
His solution was that leaders should be conscripted into service the way soldiers are drafted into the military. In a sense, the Biblical command for husbands to be leaders in the home is exactly that — men being conscripted to serve their wives and children! The book Mountains Beyond Mountains tells the story of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Harvard professor, who works a few months each year in the United States so he can save up enough money to spend the rest of the year in Haiti working with the poorest of the poor and sickest of the sick!
A humbling and inspiring example to all of us! The early Christians were noted by the Romans for giving self-sacrificially to everyone in need, whether they shared the Christian faith or not, becoming the de facto welfare system for the Roman empire even as it crumbled. In that spirit, my family and I helped found a church seven and a half years ago that owns no private property, but rather encourages its members to give of their time and money to helping the needy in their own communities and around the world.
We actually support more missionaries than we have members and seldom have a full house because so many people are away doing mission work themselves. I, personally, do not feel that my husband should be responsible for making the decisions, no matter how big, ways to turn her on. I feel that it leads to more respect given to each, as well as understanding. If the responsibilities are shared equally, it is easier to understand how the other feels about things.
I think applying some of each to any marriage will do nothing but help to strengthen it. Even though I may not agree to everything that was included in both of these lists, I appreciated reading them and plan to apply much to my marriage.
Thank you for the posts, ways to turn her on. There are some really good resources that could be used. Sadly, men are not raised anymore to be leaders. It means being man enough to humble yourself and admit your desperate need and desire for a helpmate. THAT is respectable behavior! So many times the woman is quite willing especially in my experience with Christian couples to do ANYTHING to make things right but the man is not willing to stick his neck out and love her.
A man will never FEEL respected until he respects himself. That self respect comes from knowing he is loving his wife and meeting her needs as God has commanded him to.
You lead, we respond. The energy can only flow in that direction. A woman can do her part and honor God, but the relationship will still pretty ways to turn her on stink for both parties until the man steps up and is brave enough to love extravagantly.
Not preaching to you, you obviously have the right idea. Just putting my thoughts into the discussion. If those things came naturally then there would be no need for the command in Scripture. Commands in scripture almost always run counter to our natural inclinations and underscore our need for the supernatural intervention of a loving Savior!
God gave us the directions for having a successful marriage, but you have to actually read and follow the directions!
Christ basically gave us two commands — Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind and Love others as yourself. We are just trying to give some concrete examples of how to follow that second command within the context of marriage. Certainly nothing we have said is written in stone, but the underlying principles definitely are.
These Lists are not equal in anyway. Where is her respect? His list should include some of her suggestions if they want the lists to be comparable. Plato is said to have taken general principles and derived specifics from them. Aristotle is said to have taken the specifics of life and derived general principles from them. Our hope is that these lists will help people to do a little of both in regards to their marriages.
By reading over the specific examples listed, we hope people will better see the over-arching theme of putting their spouses needs ahead of their own. Once people begin to see their spouse in that light, they can fill in the details in a way that is tailored to their own situation. That response has nothing to do with my comment.
Obviously these are not the only examples to live your marriage by. But you still have your lists written in a way where her respect for you is more important than your respect for her.
Even my very Christian sister and her husband see the flaws in this. Did you see something in this list that means it is not important to respect your wife? Did you see something in her list that said it is not important to love your husband?
If so, maybe I missed it. I counsel couples all the time. While some men talk about whether their wives love them, we do get more comments from husbands about their wives not showing respect, ways to turn her on. So I see these lists played out in day-to-day marriages. The type of direction the statistically average woman needs is different, too. Maybe the general population is different, but this is what I see in my office. Something that might be helpful would be to write your own lists for your own life.
I see some of those in here. In fact, if you were to just take a look and grab the three that would require a biggest change from most men, three things that most wives would LOVE, what would those three things be?
Men and women are very different on many levels and individual men and women vary even more still. It does not just give you power, ways to turn her on, it gives you a TON of responsibility.
Imagine that your whole team is told to submit to you. That would make you the head coach. You are responsible for whether your team wins or loses. You are responsible for calling the sexually seduced. You are responsible for training. You are responsible for being up to date on the latest news, on the best training techniques, to be well-versed on your opposition. Wining and losing is on the line, and it rests on your shoulders.
Being the officer in the field with a mission to carry out. Being in charge, and whether your team lives or dies rests on your shoulders. Make stupid decisions, you get everyone killed. Make stupid decisions, your mission fails, and God-only-knows what the repercussions of THAT might be.
You must know yourself, and you must know your enemy, and you must know your terrain, and you and your team must ALL know what to do — not even just how best to get through moments, but ways to turn her on big picture, the rules of engagement, and the fact that what you do here and now affects a lot more than just you, a lot more than just here, and a lot more than just now. You get to have your way! Thanks again for your wonderful insights. I am amazed at how many people look at these lists in the worst possible light, a haunted house sort of light, with flickering shadows of things that are not there.
It makes me wonder what is smeared on the windshield of their life, since all they can see is ugliness in something so beautiful. If the commander commands well, ways to turn her on, the soldier will follow him, under his own will. In-turn the commander will trust his underlings. This list you have are absurd, no offense but some of these things are way out there. Which made me reconsider my attitude about her list.
Thank you for posting. Wife is napping at the moment, but I want to do this with her later. This is a beautiful list. You and your wife are greatly blessed and a blessing to those you touch, ways to turn her on. Broken families and marriages are a burden on my heart. The enemy is working overtime…homes are falling apart all around us and Christian couples are not excempt; in fact, there are as many or more?
Many of our mentorees have expressed how much the lesson s have meant to them and their families. It can be life-changing. I give the book as wedding presents and wish it was mandatory reading for engaged couples.
Thank you for what you do for families. Ok on your list of ways to respect your husband you pretty much tell woman to bow down to thier husbands and subvert themselves to their husbands. On this list you tell men to put the toilet seat down, turn off the t.
These are two different lists made by two different people, ways to turn her on. Mine is suggestions about how a man can show his wife that he loves and best beds for sex her.
Although there is some natural overlap, they are by no means parallel. The key element is that each partner is giving freely to the other in ways that are meaningful to that other partner. Nothing on either list ways to turn her on original or particularly profound, but sometimes it is the simple things that turn out to be the most important.
If a husband has routinely spent three or four hours each evening ways to turn her on video games or surfing the internet, but then decides to use that time talking with his wife, helping around the house, and playing with the kids instead, the change will definitely be dramatic. Maybe you read a different list.
On one hand, if you choose to interpret ways to show a man respect as necessarily demeaning to a woman, you will see it that way, ways to turn her on. Many do, depending upon their training, upbringing, and, in my observation, often depending mostly on the quality of a man they have or men they have had in their lives. No one says you have to do it all the time.
Even though his parents ended up getting divorced when he was a teenager, the seed was planted and he grew up to be a very caring and loving husband and father who loves God above all else. So, as you see, there are many things that may factor into how a specific person may view that list. I agree with you Jennifer. I had no idea what a godly marriage looked like. I thank God everyday that my husband is who he is.
Lisa, I have that same view. I agree with you. I saw that too. A smart woman sees through it. That is why women get frustrated, we put unrealistic expectations on the wife. Christianity says to not be heard and to be submissive. Since Starbucks is one of the major food groups, it technically does not count as a splurge. Otherwise, write-ins are allowed and encouraged! Personally, I appreciate a list for each. You would be willing to do at least from time to time.
Personally, I LOVE this list. Most of it I already do as a matter of habit, and some of it is always good to be reminded. Now, this is how I would use both lists. I suggests husbands start first since I believe men ought to take the lead on being responsible for their marriages — and my counseling experience is that women like it when their man takes the lead like this.
Take the list, sit down with your wife, and ask her which of these she agrees with. I expect most wives would like most of them, maybe even all of them! Because most loving men who do not want to hurt their wives will not be honest with you if they think it will hurt you or make you angry unless you specifically ask him to. Go over the list to see what he wants. This also provides a reasonable time horizon for change.
Rather, grow into it. Give it time to become honny women habit. Then follow the schedule. Make it a date for her. Thanks, ways to turn her on, Scot, I think you really captured the spirit of the thing. We had no idea it would prove to be so controversial. Thank You, May Jesus bless you. That covers your spouse as well as the person living next door and pretty fuckbuddys everyone else you meet, too.
Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Spit Out the Bones. To ways to turn her on truly heard is the longing of every human heart, and your wife is no exception.
It sounds simple, but listening can be harder than it seems with so many distractions around us and within us. You may be surprised at what you hear. Shamelessly brag about her good qualities and quietly pray about her bad ones. Her reputation is your reputation. Pray For Her and With Her. Praying alongside your wife will strengthen your relationship like nothing else. Your wife is wonderfully unique. Put the Seat Down. Perpetually raised toilet seats are a pet peeve of wives everywhere.
A little consideration goes a long way. Throw Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper. Turn Off the T. Lay aside the video games, pocket the iPhone, and shut off the computer, as well. It is staggering how many hours we waste gazing at some sort of screen instead of interacting with the real people in our lives.
Consciously set limits on your tube-time, ways to turn her on, whatever form it takes. Use the time saved to invest in your marriage: take a walk with your wife or play a board game together instead. Loosen the Purse Strings. We all have to keep an eye ways to turn her on our budget, but an occasional splurge can be well worth it. Seemingly frivolous things like flowers, jewelry, and overpriced restaurants let her know that she is more valuable to you than a number in your bank account.
All organizations have a hierarchy. The best role model is Jesus Christ, not Joseph Stalin. Jesus washed his disciples feet and then died on their behalf. Unfortunately, men are how to seduce womens selfish in the bedroom, yet are dumbfounded when their wives are less than enthusiastic in this arena.
Make this area of your relationship as pleasurable for her as it is for you and it will pay huge dividends. It may mean washing the dishes or helping with the kids, so that she has energy left at the end of the day.
It may mean cuddling and candlelight, so that she can relax and let the worries on her mind drift away. Give Her Time to Herself. Everyone needs an occasional break to rest and recharge, and this is especially important for a wife who is at home all day with young children. Set Aside Couple Time. Soak in the tub together each evening or go on a date night once a week — whatever gets the two of you alone on a regular basis. Be Careful with Female Friendships. We all have friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, but tread cautiously.
Not all affairs are physical ones. Honoring your marriage vows means remaining faithful in thought and word as well as in deed. It is amazing how meticulous guys can be prior to marriage in their attempts to impress a girl, ways to turn her on once they walk down the aisle, all bets are off. Limit the Gross Stuff. Few women find burping and farting nearly as hilarious as the typical guy does.
Good manners are always a win. In whatever way this applies to you and your situation, ways to turn her on, apply it. When you invest time or energy in them, you are investing in her as well. Kindness to them counts as kindness to her. Choose Her Over Hobbies and Buddies. Invariably there will come times in your relationship when you will be forced to choose between your wife and something else that you enjoy. Provide for Her Needs. This is so much more than just putting food on the table.
Whether it is physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual needs, you name it — do your best to provide. Often the effort is as important as the outcome. Dial Down the Anger. Your caveman instincts are handy on the battlefield, but horrible for a happy home life. Every outburst or flare-up is a relationship setback. To go forward, the first step ways to turn her on to stop going backwards.
Learn to control your temper or it will control you, your marriage, and every other aspect of your life. Do whatever it takes to gain victory in this all-important struggle that has haunted man since Cain slew Abel. Cut Out the Condescension. If you have been blessed with a quick wit, you can either be the life of the party or a pain in the neck depending on the circumstances.
Lay off the snide remarks, the sarcasm, and the belittling. Speak to your wife in the same way that you would speak to ways to turn her on respected colleague. She is, after all, your partner in the most valuable investment of your life — your family.
Value her input and give it a preferential place in your decision-making process. Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel and at the heart of every meaningful relationship, ways to turn her on. Verbally Express Your Love. There are lots of ways to show your love, but women still like to hear it spoken.
I also think your list for women to respect her man is great also. Eric Grant senatorgrant says:. Candace Coulter Kretzer says:. That was the exact thing I thought was missing! I could not had said this better. She had to admit that some of the pictures were just gorgeous. Now she knows what I see…. Great suggestions as usual. Dios es bueno todo el tiempo!
Anyone mind if this pastor gives a shout out? Soo Soo Tasty says:. If all men actually did it that way, I think almost all women would be overjoyed and very, very few would have any problem submitting to that kind of leadership — just as no sports player has any problem submitting to the will of a winning coach or any marine has a problem submitting to the orders of a winning captain.
Christopher S Smith says:. Both lists are meant to work in tandem, just as marriage. The ever-going balance of both conceding. Both articles need to use this without the quoted verses and just say:. If you dump five items on the list, so be it! Go love your wives! This is just an article that essentially says:. Doug Flanders, MD "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Husbands: Be Careful with Female Friendships.
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